His legs hang over the side of the railing and his eyes stare straight ahead. Between his fingers is burning death and he takes every drag slow and meticulously, willing it’s magic to work faster.
Bright lights shine from down below and he contemplates his options. Guiltless chance or a surefire suicide. Maybe it could look like an accident.
Smoke gushes from between parted lips and he’s grown to like the taste.
He wonders how many flowers have grown in his graveyard chest but thinks maybe he’s barren. It feels like he’s barren. It feels like all he is, is death waiting to happen. Eyelids shut tightly and he wonders why it has yet to happen.
One foot slips behind the other and a shoe dangles precariously above the rushing traffic. He thinks of this as picking petals off of roses; to, or to not.
Instead of letting chance make it’s mind up, he takes both shoes off and lays them beside him. Knowing they’re safely next to him gives him a false comfort and an unsettling ache.
His mind wanders into the crevices of his thoughts that he blocks off in the daylight, the caution tape torn off. There are dark bags beneath his eyes and he can barely remember the last time he slept. The ache never wanes and the tired never gets comforted by sleep.
Burned to the end, he flicks his cigarette to the ground and slowly, so slowly, he lets himself rise to the challenge of not actually jumping when he can. Instead he turns and grabs his shoes, stepping down from the metal railing and letting himself enter into a more sturdy ground.
Not tonight, he thinks.
she whispers to me
in the silence of the night,
her voice sounds like
the weight of the world
wrapped in satin
one of those rare instances came
and she let my arms
cradle around her
and through her soft skin
I could feel her hidden,
fragile soul quiver
she holds her head so high
and stands so tall,
untouchable in her strength
but I live for the shadows
her rigid cracks
where our souls collide
I can keep
There’s so much you
Can want and want and want
Before you dust
Off your pants
And move on.
Maybe I’m a little lost
A little confused
And a little broken
But I’ll fight when I have to
I’ll stand when I must
And I’ll get what I deserve
I won’t settle for less
And I sure as hell
Won’t settle for you
Don’t be scared and don’t hide. You have some powerful thoughts; you just need to let them out. You’re worth more than you know and you deserve so much more than you know.
So much more.
You’re beautiful, so hold your head high and have some confidence. There’s no reason for you to worry or doubt. You’re more than you think.
You’ve got brains and a sense of humor and even a little bite to your words. You are a one-of-a-kind and you have got so much potential.
Say what’s on your mind and don’t worry about the consequences. Be true to you and stand up for who you are, ‘cause I swear there’s a lot to be proud of.
Everyone bends to fit something else but be as strong as I know you can be and you’ll hold up against even the wicked storm. You’re growing up fast and I know there’s much to fear, but I don’t want you to run. You can stand up to anything, I know it.
Laugh like you’ve never cried but never be afraid of tears.
Never lie because your truth is what matters.
There’s so much I want to tell you, so much I want to say and I want you to hear.
But really I just want you to be brave.