Tag Archives: sadness

Just a little ice to numb the pain.


I don’t drink much. I can remember the last time I was drunk,
and that was months ago. One, maybe two. Then I’m done.

Being drunk only amplifies whatever mood my heart is in.
But one or two, and that softens it. The gray sadness
becomes a little more dull, a little more bearable.

Tonight I’m drinking water and it occurs to me;

I want a drink.


Physical Emotion

When the emptiness hangs
low in my chest
my chest becomes constricted
so I find myself gasping for air

“Just breathe,” they like to say
as though you haven’t thought of it
but if I could just breathe
Maybe it wouldn’t
be so bad


It’s not when sadness kicks you in the face;

It’s when it holds you, and whispers in your ear

When it kisses your shoulder so gently

And traces the curve of your jaw

And breathes into your hair

It’s not when it leaves you with tears

From a lover leaving abruptly

But when it cradles you in its arms

Like the most familiar place you could find yourself

Because it’s not about how hard it is

But about how easy it is

Dirty Pennies

Sometimes I forget my sadness

Like a penny covered in dirt

Then one tiny glance and I find it

Pushing into me from all sides

And I can’t breathe and suddenly

I’m not as okay as I thought

My sadness like ink from a pen

You’ve stepped on, spilling out

In unwelcome surprise

If I could gather all of the pennies

Just to cast aside

I would wash them and clean them up nice

Then maybe they’d be a little less

Of an unwelcome surprise


I never understood your sadness;
It was like an art piece
I couldn’t interpret

Our hearts connected
And then I could see the world
In the colors I’ve never imagined
But as the sadness crept up
And started to fill you up further
I could see the gray in the white
And then your eyes weren’t so blue
Your skin dripped with water-color
Gray, like the murky water to clean a brush
And I’m sorry for wanting to
Take my heart out to clean it off

Even with our hearts connected
I guess I still never really understood
Your murky, water-color gray sadness
I never really understood artwork

My skin is watercolor-gray.

And I wonder:

Does the sadness drip off me

Like I just went swimming?

Does it mar my skin like ink?

It surprises me, still

How deep it runs through my veins

How filling it is and how

Absolutely consuming it is

I drown in it sometimes

And I don’t know how I manage to pull

Myself up to the surface

Nothing But Music

When it’s so late at night

With nothing but music in my ears

I think of all the times I was so sad

And so willing to just give up

Then my thoughts turn a corner

And I think of all the times I thought to myself:

“Don’t give up, it will get better”

And now with music in my ears

I think of how things have changed –

This new thing inside of me

This new profound happiness

That glows from my chest

Makes everything in the past seem so small

And I know, I just know

Even if it leaves again

That it’s still possible, still attainable

With what I feel right now,

As music plays in my ears,

I know that everything,

No matter what happens,

Will be okay