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Tag Archives: imperfections

War Paint

Sometimes, I want to paint my face pretty.

Dye my hair a different color – any other color, something not my own.

The mirror shines my face back at me and I notice everything that needs to be fixed. I notice the color of my skin, the scars, the lines and wrinkles, the bone structure, my nose. I think about what would make it better, prettier. I think about how I’m not better, prettier.

I daydream about makeup and pretty skin. I fantasize about being what I’m not.

I have to build myself up every time I don’t pick up the brush, or apply foundation. I have to forget my face every time I step outside.

Most of the time, I want to be pretty.

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Out of Love, Out of Luck

I held your hand when you were afraid to walk with your demons, and I let you hold my candle when you found yours started to burn out.

Your tears found their way to my shoulder and my arms only wrapped tighter around you.

But as soon as you found a smudge on my inner soul, you turned your back and turned up your nose.

I felt my heart break and my pillow was the only thing to soften my tears.

I loved you though you were not the right one for me, and I long for you though I deserve so much better.

There’s that saying: the heart wants what the heart wants…

But why does it want the abuse?