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Forgiveness

You weren’t my first heartbreak, and for what it’s worth, you won’t be my last.

It’s okay that maybe you couldn’t handle all that I have to feel, that sometimes this terrible stretch of loneliness that towers above me was too much for you to bare with. It’s okay that you couldn’t love me that way I loved you and it’s okay that you never asked for forgiveness.

I’m trying to give it to you anyway, because I deserve so much.

Being with you showed me what a love could feel like. It showed me what a kiss could taste like and how sweet a heart could be.

It’s okay that you’re already dreaming of her, really, it is. It sits a little low, a little sour in my throat, but I’ll swallow it eventually. Just because you couldn’t give me the love I require, doesn’t mean you can’t give it to someone else. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

And, yeah, I do miss you. I miss us, I guess. I miss every small thing and every heartbeat in my chest when I had you. But you still never saw the best of me, and let me tell you, you’re missing out.

This pressure on my chest you left me with, it’s getting easier to breathe around. It’s even getting easier to sleep without you next to me. I’m starting to crave it again, already, even. Without your face being the one my mind immediately tries to go to.

It’s a little sticky trying to get over you. I guess my love was a bit of a mess.

But I’ll be clean again.

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