A few firsts

A soft kiss to the back of my shoulder

The only time you kissed me anywhere below the neck

It was the first kiss I had planted on my body

Just a butterfly kiss to my skin

But it made my young heart race nonetheless

I don’t think you could see me trying to hide my blush

And then we played hide and seek in the bookstore

So lit with excitement and curiosity

And this new thing called lust

But… You never kissed my body again

I never told you I wanted you to

And you’re engaged now, isn’t that right?

Pictures are my only view of you now

An adult so much like the boy I knew,

The boy I gave my first kiss to, my first real wanting to

Ink now marks your newly adult body

Though I remember when you had none

But, oh, I remember your first one, don’t you?

My fingers grazed the skin on your ribs

It had been so long already by then,

Since I once called you mine;

I tried to sink my fingers into your skin

So you could feel what I was feeling, so you could know

But I’m not sure you even knew again that I still thought about you

Just from time to time, but nonetheless

Now I see your pictures and I see such a beautiful pair

But I wonder if she’ll ever see the tenderness I saw

I wonder if she’ll see the sadness that I helped herd away

I wonder if she’ll be the one person to ask if you’re alright

When something’s not quite right –

Even after not seeing you for months

My first kiss, first wanting, first igniting of something within me

And I’m not sure I have any of your firsts

Just a hint of lemon regret in the air when I think

I’ll never have any of your lasts


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