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Oh, Bother

I’m not writing this to tell you how much I love you

No, on the contrary I’m writing to explain my detest for you

Your voice is like a nail on the chalkboard – cliché, I know

When you speak in comes in ghastly waves –

I get shivers from it, I swear I do. Terrible, awful shivers –

If your skin (God, this is just disgusting to think about)

Comes in contact with mine, I have to bite my tongue

Just to keep from shouting out profanity

As that might just hurt some poor, sensitive souls

I wake up angry if you somehow haunt my dreams – nightmares –

Then I have to avoid seeing you for fear I may eliminate you

You are the lowly insect in the dirt while I fly high as a majestic bird

Ready to eat you at first sight

But, this is April Fools, isn’t it?

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