Kissing Cuts

What would happen if you kissed me like you used to? Would it really be so bad to forget about her? These feelings in my chest, I know they shouldn’t be there. I know I shouldn’t want you like I do. It feels like it was so long ago, but it feels like it was just yesterday. It doesn’t feel real, when I picture us before, but it’s still there so vividly.

These monsters in my chest in my head in my heart, sometimes I don’t know if they’re trying to push me to somewhere I need to have courage to get, or if they’re trying to drive me into madness with thoughts that could never happen.

I think about you a little too much and you hold me a little too close and this hurts more than it should. My hearts stops beating whenever I think about you but I’m lingering a little too close to death now.

When I sleep alone I can feel you beside me still, I can feel your long arms surrounding me, pulling me tighter and I think – with a little anger and hopelessness – that you never should have held me like you wanted me the way I wanted you.

It’s more than just me thinking about you now. I can just imagine you wanting her like I want you, and it feels like little cuts every time. I wish I didn’t want you to kiss and make them better.


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