I may not miss your aching silence or the way you held every breath like you were waiting for it to finally be your last, but I miss your breathing regardless. I miss your presence lingering near me.
I miss the taste of you and your scent. I miss your soft skin, and your rough edges. I miss the way you weren’t perfect, but everything about you was covered in beautiful, breakable amethyst.
The hue of the light hitting your shoulder was enough to captivate me. The far-off look in your eyes telling me you were somewhere else – that was something I could never rid myself of. Your burden was enough for me to carry, but what burden was it, when it was all I wanted?
Your shadow would dance with mine on the walls, more beautiful than a show. Now there’s a space missing beside mine and when another shadow tries to play with mine, I pull back, unable.
Even with this black hole that formed when you decided to slip away from me, I still hope your memory never fades. I would rather live with this gnawing blackness swarming inside of my stomach than ever forget even one memory. I would rather toss and turn at night because the smell of your hair is still on my pillow than be without it.
And with you fading from the walls, disappearing from the corners, this fear may be second worse to losing you. Where am I to hide when you were the only safe place for me?