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Okay

I’ve been hearing it lately

The kind of quiet murmur in the back of my mind

There are no real words but I hear it

There’s nothing nice that will form and I’m trying to ignore it

But it’s there, a constant buzzing

When I’m reading, talking, thinking, staring into space

Always ferociously aware of the ticking

Bomb-like and I’m a little scared

Breathing carefully so I don’t set it off

It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay

But I can already feel the strings pull at my wrists

At my ankles, at the corners of my mouth

But I don’t want to misplace the life in me

I don’t want to be a mindless puppet

Moving just for the sake of I have to

I’m hanging onto the awareness and hoping it doesn’t leave

Hoping that I remain okay because

I don’t want to go back there

It’s a black hole of muck and I stick and it hurts to breathe –

I want to stay okay.

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2 responses to “Okay

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