He watched her from the corner of his eyes all night. He should be over her, he really should be, but there she was – as beautiful as ever with her perfect smile and her perfect laugh. Too far away to really hear but he remembered the sweet chime of it regardless.

The man she was dancing with kept leaning in to talk in her ear and you felt your grip tighten on the glass that never seemed to leave your hand. You could almost see the ghost of his breath prick her skin and when their eyes met you became sick. His hand was on her back, skimming lower and your chest tightened. This wasn’t something you should be watching. It was over, you had no reason to feel this way, and yet you did.

But you can only remember that she used to look at you that way. And she used to laugh in her breathily way when you used your words in hushed tones so only she could hear. They kiss and you can’t stand it. You leave for a smoke because you nerves are killing you and you need to not see her any more. You need to get the image of her kissing someone else out of your head and you need smoke in your lungs. And your outside, a little dizzy from that drink you so hastily finished and you feel a little comfort in the burning cancer between your fingers.

And still all you can really think about is the way she looked at him and how she used to look at you that way. You puff and puff your cigarette and it doesn’t get better. It’s still there. And they’re still inside and you can almost picture him sliding his hands over her and the way her lips would shine in the ever dim lights. A deep inhale and your eyes connect with a woman in black and you know that you’re going to take her home and try to forget the woman inside.

His hands touch a new body and his mouth is connected to the taste of alcohol. She’s laughing whenever he leans in and he can’t take it so he rips her clothes off and tries to forget. She leaves in the early morning, leaving a note with red lips on it and a number and her name. He tosses it and remembers. She used to look at him that way.


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