I lost myself, somewhere along the way. And I was lost for a while. Then you took my hand and showed me the way, you led me along the trails of your map and I found something. I found something that I thought I had lost, only to find out it was just dormant.
My eyes close and I remember how it was, when I decided to take your hand and let you lead me down a road I didn’t know. I told you it was okay to let go of my hand, and you did, and it’s okay. It’s already strange and it’s already twisting in my stomach and in my head. My skin feels clammy from being touched for so long and now I’m just waiting to go back to normal.
Though, maybe not normal. Maybe better than normal. Maybe, I’ll be better and more aware and more awake to the world around me. And maybe I won’t shut down like I’m used to. Maybe for once I’ll wear my heart on my sleeve like I’ve never been able to.
But not yet. For now I’m going to take some time and hold it. Feel the smooth edges of time in my hands and not give it away quite yet.
She said she thinks it was love and I’m not sure if I could agree or disagree.
So I’ll see about shrugging it off and call it great instead. And I’ll listen to The Black Keys in the meantime while I ponder what it is we had and if you’ll ever get around to calling me again. I won’t lie about it; I still miss your voice. I still feel a little off, but that’s to be expected. Eventually I’ll be less-than-off but I’ll take it for what it is right now.
And maybe you’re fine without me and maybe you don’t miss me at all, like you thought you might. If that’s the case, I don’t mind. I’m not going to keep a bird caged just for the pleasure of having it.
I just want you happy. I just want us happy.