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What is strength?

I don’t know how they call me “strong” when I’m hanging by my fingertips ready to let go. I’m getting so tired just hanging here on this ledge and I don’t know what’s keeping me hanging on. So tired of looking in the mirror and seeing someone I don’t know, so tired of looking in the mirror to see a shadow staring back at me.

And isn’t it just a little selfish to keep me here? Isn’t it a little selfish to keep me so sad, so unbearably sad?

The “c” word has been lingering in the back of my mind and I want that like I wanted it before. I want the escape without the blame.

And how am I “strong” when I think like this? How am I loved when I am this way?

I don’t want pity and I don’t deserve a sweet love like honey that leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.

Maybe I want to be the shadow. Maybe I want to slip into the cracks and be forgotten. Maybe I want to not affect anyone else because no one deserve that. No one willing to love me deserves any of the pain that I cause.

Why am I so broken?

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3 responses to “What is strength?

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