When you’re as in love with words as I am, and you realize you have got nothing to say, it hurts. You want to say things that will make people stop and listen for a while. You want to open someone’s mind to the possibility that you make with your words. But when your tongue has grown quiet and there’s nothing important to say, it’s a downward spiral.
Down I go faster and faster in the spinning silence. It’s chaos, pure chaos for you. It’s a maze and you’re blindfolded. I’m blindfolded. I can’t walk straight and I always find my way back to the start. There is no end and I’m stuck. I’m at a stalemate with myself. I can’t find the right way to go, I can’t take the blindfold off, and I can’t find the right words.
There is no easy way to find things that you’re certain you’ve lost. Not misplaced, just lost. And when that thing is important and you hold it so very close to you, you’re just not the same. Words are my friends, my comfort. But I have lost them therefor I am lost.
I have nothing to say and therefor I am nothing. There is nothing for me to add to this world and so I have no use.