Sweet Dreams

And, God, my eyes feel so tired. They just want to slip closed and never open. I need a sleep that isn’t for the breathing, a sleep that never ends.

So cold my soul’s been; so alone and untouched – so bare.

I can feel the ache deep in my bones, the hurting that stretches all the way through.

It’s hard to sleep, I toss and I turn throughout the night and I wake up feeling empty – multiple times a night.  When my eyes are open and I’m conscious, I feel so drained, so used up and just done. So completely done.

My heart hangs heavy in my chest and the weight bears down on me like an anchor keeping me tied down, making it hard to move.

So move I try not to do. I try not to think, not to be aware because being aware hurts. Everything hurts so I’ve come to lie down and rest because sleep has been so hard to get and I just don’t want to ache any more.

I want to breathe and not feel a pressure on my chest. I want to sleep and wake because it’s time. I want to feel alright.


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