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Thinking

Sometimes I don’t know what to think – about anything.

I’m scared. Of everything, too. I’m scared of life, of love, of pain, even of happiness. I’m scared of change because I don’t know, yet, how adaptable I am.

I want to cry just to comfort myself. But I think I cry a little too much.

I can’t help it. It comes so easily now.

I don’t want to disappoint. You know, anyone. My parents… My sisters… Myself…

I’m so scared I’ll fail at life. I’m on the brim of it, staring down into the abyss I have yet to wallow in. I’m terrified I’ll fail. Already it’s taken its toll on me and I have yet to even get out in it.

I think I say ‘I’ too much. I need someone else to worry about, I need someone else to think about. I hate having just me. I’m hard to handle.

Also, I’m in love with Ingrid Michaelson. She’s an amazing artist and I love her voice and I love her lyrics. I guess you could say she’s my girl-crush.

I feel sad, alone, and scared. And I hate it. I don’t want to be alone any more but I don’t know how to reach out.

I’m scared nothing will help.

Might make my third cup of tea… It soothes.

 

tea

 

– Steph xooo

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10 responses to “Thinking

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